journal January 6

What is feminism capable of? Who does it reach? Who is saved by feminism, the personal life philosophy? (Granted, it did save me). Who is saved by feminist legislation? Who is saved in the feminist classroom?

My emphasis on being saved by feminism is due in part to the urgency I have recently begun to feel. Not even halfway through my first year of a master’s program in Women’s Studies, a heavy feeling of uselessness has taken over much of my desire to be doing something in the world. After spending a quarter analyzing criticism of women’s studies and observing and evaluating the limits of my own department, worries about my usefulness peaked. Yes, there was a bit of a crisis for a minute. The huge question “what is women’s studies – feminist scholarship or feminist activism?” became so daunting and difficult to negotiate that I have checked out of that argument for the moment, resigned to believing (because I do) in the redeeming powers of feminism. As a personal solution, feminism helped me solve very large problems in my life that will never be repeated, and because of feminism, I won’t let other people recreate them against me. Feminism enriches my world view, makes me feel purposeful, and has provided ways to have the richest and most love-filled relationships with people that I have ever had. As a result of my apparent love letter to feminism, the experience of learning it shouldn’t be confused with taking a sort of pill that does the work as you lie back and relax. Difficult and sometimes painful engagement led to my appreciation.

It is still there, in the back of my mind, back-seat to teaching and my own graduate courses. I am deeply in love with feminism – this is how much of a personal solution it is. My love for it doesn’t come from what is has done for tons of women, because I have learned of its limits. I feel happiness for the ways that it has enriched other women’s lives. The deep emotional attachment, however, is a result of a one-on-one interaction with feminism. Realizing this, I ask what feminism is capable of. What problems can it address today? Could aspects of it certainly be “stuck in the past”? Is it really “for everybody”? Keeping women and gender always and forever on the table as categories of analysis is no doubt beneficial. Can it go further, though? And if it does expand, does it stay feminism?